02.15.10

CLINTON ON IRAN

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Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has upped her rhetoric claiming Iran is becoming a ‘military dictatorship‘ under the rule of Revolutionary Guard begging the question: How many wars can America fight?

written by Christopher

02.14.10

SILVERMAN TED

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Sarah Silverman who is no stranger to controversy did not disappoint when speaking at recent TED Conference.

written by Christopher

02.09.10

MGMT CONGRATULATIONS

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Psychedelic-pop band MGMT released news to in an exclusive interview with Spin Magazine yesterday of their forthcoming album release titled Congratulations.

written by Christopher

02.04.10

LINGERIE FOR KIDS

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Singer Miley Cyrus’s 9-year-old sister Noah Cyrus has teamed up with friend Emily Grace to launch a line of lingerie for kids called ‘Ohh! La, La! Couture‘. In other news God has finally decided to destroy the human civilization (perfect timing).

written by Christopher

01.31.10

BAILOUT BONUS

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Lloyd Blankfein of Goldman Sachs is expecting a record breaking $100 million dollar bonus this year in the wake of American economic ruin which finally answers the question as to whether or not Goldman Sachs helped engineer our current demise for their own benefit.

written by Christopher

01.27.10

CASH FREEZE

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In his State of the Union Address, President Barack Obama pitched a 3 year spending freeze to trim the current 900 million gagillion googleplex deficit. Bonuses for Citibank and Goldman Sachs are excluded of course.

written by Christopher

01.24.10

THE HOUSE LOSES

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Ever wondered how to beat the house in Vegas? Maybe you could learn something from the top ten gamblers of all time who single-handedly beat the Vegas’s biggest casinos.

written by Christopher

01.22.10

MOVE TO AMEND

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“On January 21, 2010, with its ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are persons, entitled by the U.S. Constitution to buy elections and run our government. Human beings are people; corporations are legal fictions. The Supreme Court is misguided in principle, and wrong on the law. In a democracy, the people rule.”

Do America a favor and sign this petition NOW.

written by Christopher

LENO KIMMEL CLASH

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You don’t really even have to be following the ‘Late Night Wars’ to appreciate just how brutal Jimmy Kimmel was when questioned on Leno’s 10 at 10. Brutally honest that is.

written by Christopher

01.21.10

BROWN MASS

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Republican Scott Brown was elected to the Massachusetts State Senate in a stunning upset over Martha Coakley. Brown claims the election wasn’t just a referendum on Obama but that ‘it’s bigger than that‘. In other news the government continues to screw up on a massive scale on both sides of the aisle.

written by Christopher

01.13.10

FOX PALIN

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Sarah Palin has inked a deal with Fox News to appear as a contributor on the network although there are no plans for her to anchor her own program. It’s pure coincidental irony that the headline ‘Fox Palin’ could be overlooked as yet another result yielded by the Sarah Palin baby name generator.

written by Christopher

JAY REATARD

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Garage rock God, Jay Reatard died last night in his sleep. Little news as to the cause of his death has yet surfaced but this is a huge loss to the independent music industry.

written by Christopher

HAITIAN QUAKE

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Thousands are expected to be reported dead after a devastating earthquake struck Haiti yesterday. Hospitals were unprepared for the toll and bodies were piled into the streets overnight.

written by Christopher

01.08.10

JERSEY GORE

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America yawns in apathy as yet another fight ensues after an already controversial week for the MTV real-sad-world reality show ‘Jersey Shore‘ that doubtlessly signals the fall of the American Empire. Barf.

written by Christopher

01.04.10

AVATAR BILLIONAIRE

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After reaching no. 1 at the box office for the third-straight weekend, James Cameron’s sci-fi epic, Avatar has already topped 1 billion in sales worldwide.

written by Christopher

DUBAI AIMS HIGH

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Despite it’s looming financial crisis, Dubai will play host to opening the worlds tallest building today when it officially unveils the 160-plus-story structure, Burj Dubai.

written by Christopher

12.17.09

UGANDA HOMOSEXUALITY DEATH BILL

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Uganda is attempting to pass a bill that will outlaw homosexuality making it punishable by death. The fundamentalist move harkens back to the rhetoric of Nazi Germany.

written by Christopher

12.15.09

LIGHT IN THE SKY

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A strange blue spiral swirled for nearly 12 minutes above northern Norway on December 9th completely baffling local residents as well as the science community. Speculations range from Russian missile tests to alien space-time portals. It someone out there trying to make contact?

written by Christopher